Male Victims of Domestic Abuse written for Professionals working with Abuse.

Written by: Stephan Dais: Author: When Women Abuse Men, Lecturer: L5 Advanced Professional Practice in Domestic Abuse (I.D.V.A-aligned) & Counsellor,

Recognizing Male Victims of Domestic Abuse in Therapeutic Practice

Efforts to address domestic abuse have advanced significantly in recent years. However, some forms of victimization remain under-recognised—particularly the experiences of men abused by female partners. For these individuals, a lack of recognition can result in unmet therapeutic needs and prolonged emotional harm.

While it is well established that women are disproportionately affected by domestic abuse, male victimization is often less visible within both public discourse and clinical practice. This is especially evident in heterosexual relationships, where abuse experienced by men may be minimised, re-framed as mutual conflict, or overlooked entirely. Such abuse can take many forms, including emotional, psychological, financial, physical, sexual, and social control.

In 2012, a London-based, self-referral counselling service was established to support male victims of domestic abuse. Alongside long-term therapeutic work, the service provides advocacy for clients navigating legal, housing, and police systems. Most clients engage in therapy for two to three years, reflecting the complexity and depth of the trauma they have experienced.

A consistent pattern has emerged: many men accessing the service have previously sought help from multiple professionals and institutions, including mental health services, without their experiences being adequately recognised. Some report disclosing abuse within couples therapy, only for it to be minimised or re-framed as general relational difficulty. These responses can unintentionally reinforce feelings of isolation and self-doubt.

This raises important considerations for practitioners. How often might male victims present in the therapy room without their experiences being identified as abuse? To what extent might assumptions about gender and victim-hood influence clinical judgement?

According to the Office for National Statistics (year ending March 2025), 3.8 million people aged 16 and over experienced domestic abuse in the UK. Of these, 1.5 million were men—approximately one in three victims. Despite this, male victimisation continues to receive limited attention within both societal narratives and therapeutic frameworks.

Failure to recognise abuse has significant clinical implications. When disclosures are interpreted primarily through the lens of conflict rather than coercion and control, opportunities for appropriate intervention may be missed. This can delay recovery and limit access to effective support.

Implications for Practice

To provide inclusive and effective care, practitioners should:

• Remain open to the possibility of domestic abuse regardless of gender

• Be attentive to non-physical forms of coercion and control

• Avoid defaulting to frameworks of mutual conflict when abuse may be present

• Exercise caution in undertaking or continuing couples therapy where abuse is disclosed

• Seek supervision and ongoing training to challenge potential biases in assessment and formulation

Recognising male victims of domestic abuse is not about diminishing the experiences of other groups. Rather, it is about ensuring that all victims are accurately identified and appropriately supported. Greater awareness within therapeutic practice is an essential step toward more equitable and effective care.